can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I currently don't understand fingers.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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