Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
