I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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