I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
