He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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