Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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