So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
