i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
