my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
