And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
