in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
