Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
