I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
