She's JV to your varsity
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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