He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
