shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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