you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
