I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and she was petting her beer can
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
