the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
