It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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