Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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