just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
pray to the hookup gods
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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