wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize