??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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