Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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