I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize