He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
