So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
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I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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