well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
tell me about the eggs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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