You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
