covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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