don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
