K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
