This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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