playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't deserve a penis
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
