sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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