aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
