the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
