haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
