When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
