Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize