My first STD was from a foam party
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
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