I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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