I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
