sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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