I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
sex in a hospital.. check
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize