she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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