you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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