I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
