I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
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You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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