kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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