Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
