Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
this beer tastes like vomit already
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize