So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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