apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
