I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
