We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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