dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
